it seems as though nothing will remain in the end. everything will be covered in layers upon layers of thick fog and no longer will i be able to interpret the world i once saw as my own. life will vanish in front of my eyes, and i will be alone. no one will protect me, and for once, i’ll be fully accountable for every single thing i did and every single thing i didn’t do. worldly ways will become extinct- here people won’t be able to lie and deceive, here people won’t get their selfish ways by abusing their wealth, their power. it’ll be the fairest judgement of all past judgements, because this time, it’ll be the all-knowing judging us, and from Him we won’t be able to hide even our deepest secrets.
this isn’t what i had in mind when photographing, nor did i imagine afterwords that i’d write about my inner struggle for faith, but somehow when you reach a low-point, you are hit with the fact that in the end, it’ll only be you who is reliable for your decisions and the way you chose to live your life. it’s ultimately up to you to either improve your ways or keep continuing down a dark. if who you’re hurting doesn’t matter to you, think back to the child you were years ago. who did that child want to be? would that child be proud of who you are now, who you have become?
i know the childhood me would have wanted to be better.
while reflecting, you might find yourself taking a few steps back, unsure of where to head, and unsure of which peeking light to follow.
but the one that shines the brightest is Allah’s, and forever will be. you’ll find it, you will. just keep trying.
his eyelashes grew longer as he spent dawn to sunrise of every new day gazing out the golden speckled door. shadows embarked within him, and he grew weary of all things surrounding- the fallen leaves, the morning walker, the pecking birds, and eventually the sky enveloping itself in soft light. it was as if darkness knew its place was in the night, and never sought to change it’s perfectly timed presence.
another soul awaited to join him when the sky seemed full and vibrant. she’d point at things he’d already seen, but he’d pretend everything was unfamiliar, for no one knew of his morning journey. no one inside those walls even questioned his silence throughout the days. his thoughts conquered him, but he found a way to conquer them too.
and even when his eyelids grew heavy and he fell into the deepest sleep, he’d dream of what he’d seen.
and with that, he felt pure, he felt alive, he felt free.
and nothing could take that away. he was the little boy who took the morning journey, far and about into worlds of magic never seen, while calmly gazing out his golden speckled door.
sometimes he’d think he was alone, but there she was, right there with him.
guess who my valentine was this year… come on, guess! keep guessing. no giving up on this one…
if you guessed THIS little guy, you are the WINNER of this challenge.
mashallah he’s the most cuddly little one in the universe.
roses are red, violets are blue, my heart melts with everything you do!
junaid says “thanks for all the love guys, and for visiting aunti amina’s blog today!”
sometimes i fall in love with a single photograph, that tells a story all on it’s own. it doesn’t need other photos to complement it, nor does it need my words. i’ll be posting such photographs now, from time to time. i hope you can take it in.
amber, it’s great hearing from you! thank you so much, trust me i won’t stop photographing but i think you’re just flattering me :P i’ve seen some photos/videos of you dancing at f&m, i really hope you are loving it. what i need is to borrow some of your talent and energy, seriously. we need to catch up on everything soon, i hope to see you before college starts back up. i need to hear all about all your exciting adventures. expect another message from me in the near future.
thank you so much for the kind words and for following. i’m glad you enjoy my photos :) i use the very basic canon rebel xs with either the kit lens (18-55mm) but much much more often my handy 50 mm f/1.8 - it’s such a life saver with portraits and works so well to give you great depth of field. i’d definitely recommend it if you’re looking for lenses. the price is beyond comparison too!
aunti safia- you’ve been sick and i’ve been worried. you have always prayed for everyone who was ill and now we are praying for you. i remember this day in the summertime before you left for pakistan. i told you i wanted to snap a few photographs of you and you became very excited. you kept sewing away and i observed. your fingers intertwined as you created beautiful patterns out of mere pieces of string. you told us that dadi ama, your mother, taught you how to sew.
hearing your stories shook me, because little do we ever delve into the past beyond our own lives. there were people doing everything in their hands to keep going, struggling everyday just to make it through. stepping through life, from childhood to their adult years, falling down, standing back up, going through the utmost hardship, but they did it, didn’t they? they kept going, and as a result, we are here. thank you for reminding me of these things aunti safia.
and thank you for being a mother, sister, grandmother, and everything you are including my aunt. my hope is that you inshallah become well, and feel peace and happiness. i wish the same for my nani ama, uncle saeed and uncle rahim. hearing about them and seeing their conditions brings an ache so deep to the heart. all you want is for them to respond to your cries, and to stand up and do everything they used to do before. the difference is that you’d cherish them more than ever before, because you felt the pain of what life was like without them.
tonight is the first night of 2012. we are getting older, but losing what we need most. our generation will never have hearts as big as theirs unless we look to our elders, respect them, and give them all the love that they so badly deserve.
last week was my parent’s 35th anniversary. THIRTY FIVE YEARS! i can’t even imagine how long that is since i’ve only been alive nineteen years. but yes, thirty-five years and thriving alhumdulillah :) the family went out to dinner at one of the only halal pakistani restaurants in the area, and though it was delicious, that wasn’t the best part. the best part is spending time with those you love most, and if you see the pictures of these tiny kiddies, you’ll know they hold a big piece of my heart along with my parents and my siblings. i couldn’t get enough of this fancy lighting and the kid’s expressions made it even more tempting for me to pick up my camera and snap away. maybe i should pay more attention to eating next time? oops!
oh aleena, i will forever take photos of you. even while you drink water. even while you sleep. even while… ALL THE TIME.
fantastic bokeh with the cutest little fingers and a chubbee (roti-holder) on his head, my sweet playful child.
fatima showing some teeth!
my mom and dad, the famous couple- loved these portraits of them.
let’s just say food is my middle name. i could eat and eat all day and all night.
his expressions :)
sadia had dibs on junaid that night since i get to see him way more than she does. she got all “aggressive” when i wanted to hold him!
my beautiful aleena mashallah.
wish i could have gotten haqq and isa in this one too- but they were busy being gentlemen.
hamza kept doing everything in his hands to make the kiddies laugh.
yes, these laughs a result of hamza’s effort!
portraits, amazing lighting, more portraits, keep going.
who’s he? the quiet little stranger who visited our table while chewing away on pieces of naan.
and last but not least, fatima and the newest addition to our family. love you ALL. it was a splendid night!
